200KmHr in the Wrong Lane
by knightraider08
Summary: A new opportunity arises after JJ leaves the BAU. Why IS Emily really mentoring Agent Seaver? Rated M...Prentiss/Seaver...possible Prentiss/Jareau for later chapters :
1. Chapter 1

_**200KM/H IN THE WRONG LANE**_

_Emily Prentiss told Rossi she would mentor Agent Seaver. What was the real reason behind the sudden generosity? _

_**CHAPTER 1**_

_"I hear and I forget. I see and I remember.I do and I understand."**Chinese Proverb**_

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**_"I'll do it. I'll be her training agent."

"Don't make me regret this." Rossi eyed Emily.

"Thank you." The brunette nodded her appreciation and turning on her heels, she left Rossi staring after her muscular figure. He wondered about her. The team hadn't spoken in depth about JJ Jareau since the blonde left, and, scratching his dark beard, he remembered how close the two female agents had been. Not just friends-close. He had noticed that Emily and JJ had chemistry…a spark that ignited each time the two laid eyes on each other. Leaning back into the leather chair, he wondered.

Emily walked briskly across the bullpen. As she settled into her chair, she picked up a letter hidden underneath a mountain of untouched case files. She glanced at the signature at the end; "I love you always, please write back. Jen xx" She felt a strong tug grip her chest. Sighing, she knew she would not reply to the letters.

"I eh, noticed you take double shots." The young cadet Agent's voice cut through the memories that were painfully racing through Emily's head and she handed her coffee.

"Oh, thanks." She started.

"I wanted to thank you for having my back." Ashley looked straight into the older Agent's eyes.

"Well, I hope you have mine." Emily strained a smile. Inside, her inner voice was growling. She hated Agent Seaver. It was everything about her; the blonde hair, the blue eyes, the innocent looks…even her caring attitude antagonised her. She was just too. Damn. Nice.

Emily smirked as she watched the blonde bounce away to her desk. She'll bring the beast out of that girl, even if it kills her.

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_Ok please bear with me! Chapter 2 should be up soon :) Please review at your pleasure!_


	2. Chapter 2

_**CHAPTER 2**_

_"Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think."**La Bruyere**_

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**_Emily sighed. As usual, it had been a tough case on all of the team. She sat back in the chair and linked her strong fingers behind her neck, tilting her head back. The bullpen was deserted, with the others wanting to head home for the night to reminisce on the past year. After all, it was Hailey's anniversary.

Her eyelids were heavy, and it wasn't long before Emily's eyes closed. But just as they did, memories came flooding back… "I'm leaving, Emily…" Her voice echoed and played over and over. The same three words. Over and over. Emily snapped her eyes open again, knowing where such thoughts led to. She stared at the forms in front of her. She was supposed to review how effectively Agent Seaver had performed on the last case. Her eyes caught the corner of the folder white paper jutting out from a stack of cases.

"Damn you, Jareau.." She muttered to herself.

Seemingly unable to control her actions, Emily grabbed the letter and clutched it, reading it for what felt like the millionth time.

"My dearest Em,

You know I love you. I feel I've loved you forever. I know you're angry and upset about how everything turned out, I'm so sorry…."

"Emily?"

Emily stuffed the letter back into a heap of paper as her other hand instinctively reached for her Glock 17 on her desk and she spun in her chair.

"N…No, No! Its o…ok, its j…just me!" Ashley stuttered, frightened by the speed and aggressiveness of the older Agent's reflex.

"Christ, Seaver, do you WANT to be killed?" Emily snapped.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that, I wasn't thinking."

"Look, its fine. Forget it." She never thinks, Emily thought inwardly. Turning back to her case report, she placed the gun back in its place on the desk. She could feel the cadet's eyes on her, burning a hole in her back. She wished she'd just leave her alone tonight. She heard footsteps coming towards her, stopping just behind her swivel chair.

"Emily? Can I ask you a question?" Would she ever just p*ss off, Emily snarled.

"Go ahead…" She murmured.

"Its just, I noticed that the team is kind of… I don't know…cool towards me. You're the only one who's really been supportive of me. I think it might be because of what happened with that other profiler? The one before me….maybe she was the media liaison…I can't remember…"

Emily felt her stomach turn as the cadet spoke.

"Agent Jareau, that was her name. Jennifer Jareau."

Once more Emily spun around. This time she stood facing the blonde, glaring at her. She could see the fear in her eyes and it appeased her.

"YOU don't get to say her name. YOU don't get to mention her. NEVER say HER name to me again. You hear me Seaver?" The brunette had squared her shoulders and she looked imposing with twice the amount of muscle mass than the skinny cadet fresh out of the FBI Academy. Her hand was raised in a fist, knuckles white.

She noticed the young agent's shaking hands. She made Ashley feel threatened. Emily's dark lips curled into a smirk. Just as she edged closer to Ashley, she swore she saw her Jennifer in those blue eyes. That was enough to push her. She caught the blonde's lips in a deep kiss, snaking her strong arms around her back to pull her closer. Ashley let out a cry of surprise at the sudden movement.

"Agent Prentiss!" She squeaked.

"Shut up. Just shut up." Emily growled against Ashley's mouth, then drove her tongue into her.

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Ahh! Please review! I hope its not too bad!


	3. Chapter 3

_**CHAPTER 3**_

_"But behavior in the human being is sometimes a defense, a way of concealing motives and thoughts, as language can be a way of hiding your thoughts and preventing communication." **Abraham Maslow**_

_****_

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**_

The dark agent shoved the cadet onto the table. She placed kisses along her neck before stopping to nibble its pulsing base. Ashley tilted her head back and couldn't help moaning her appreciation. However she suddenly realising what was going to happen and where they were.

"Oh God, what are we doing?" She could only manage a whisper because she was intensely aroused.

Emily grinned against her neck. "I'm going to fuck you." Then she ripped the youngster's shirt off her back and descended to bare pale breasts.

"No lingerie…tut tut." She alternated attention between each one. Ashley arched her back to get closer to her mentor. Her breath hitched as Emily nibbled the underside of her right breast.

"Oh you like that, eh?" The older agent smirked. She caught one nipple between her teeth and bit down on it. Ashley cried out…"Hey!" As she looked at Emily, she could see excitement and determination in her dark eyes. But there was something else as well. Pure hatred. She pushed the thought aside, fearing what her senior would do next. She whimpered as Emily trailed her tongue upwards again, hovering her lips over her trainee's. There was a ghost of a smile evident on her mouth.

She moved her hands around Ashley's shoulders and the young FBI cadet couldn't prevent her breath from increasing. Emily nibbled her shoulder, the started slowly running her nails down Ashley's back. Gently at first, but after repeating this a few times, she started to dig in…almost enough to draw blood.

"Ahh, ouch!" The cadet complained. Emily kept her face out of the girl's line of vision but Ashley knew her mentor was enjoying this.

"You fucking bitch." Emily growled. She needed this. She wanted to make someone pay. She wanted to make Jennifer pay. She wanted to hurt her just as JJ had when she left.

Then, ghosting her hand from breast to core, Emily pushed panties down and felt Ashley's wet folds. "So fucking wet." She whispered into her ear. Ashley moaned at the sensation of Emily's elegant fingers circling her clit.

"Oh yes…" She breathed hard, her eyes fluttering closed.

Emily nibbled her ear lobe. Without warning, she dove two fingers deep into Ashley's wetness, causing her to buck her hips in surprise. Emily didn't take her time. She began thrusting her fingers in and out, gathering speed each time. The blonde had to buck her hips to match the older agent's movements.

"You are so fucking tight." Emily moved her mouth down to Ashley's clit and started sucking the enlarged nub, still slamming her fingers hard into her pussy. She could feel the youngster getting closer to the edge. She curled her fingers inside her and sped up her tongue's movement on the pulsing clit.

"Oh God Emily yes!" Ashley screamed, throwing her head backwards and tangling one hand in her mentor's dark hair.

Emily felt the walls of Ashley's vagina contract around her fingers, and she kept up her thrusting and licking, allowing the cadet to ride out her orgasm.

"Fuck yes! Emily!" Ashley came fast into Emily's hand.

Finally collapsing on the desk, Emily pulled out of the blonde and began to redress herself.

"Where are you going?" Ashley asked, her voice husky.

"Home." Emily grumbled. Stuffing the letter into her pocket, she turned and left the young woman sitting naked on her desk.

**

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****A/N: **_Please review as you see fit. This is my first story so be nice :) I'll try to get Chapter 4 up soon!_


	4. Chapter 4

**_CHAPTER 4_**

_**"Hope is itself a species of happiness, and perhaps, the chief happiness which this world affords." Samuel Johnson**_

"Home." Emily grumbled.

Ashley could feel cool air on her bare legs as Emily waited for the elevator. She kept her eyes locked on her mentor until the doors closed. The older agent didn't look back.

Stranding upright, Ashley attempted to gather her pieces of clothing and dress herself. Her new white shirt was devoid of all buttons. She smirked as she realised something.

"What just happened?" She said aloud. "Emily Prentiss just fucked you, that's what happened!" She couldn't help the grin forming on her face. Tall, dark and very beautiful Emily Prentiss.

Tidying the sheets on paper that had been strewn over the wooden desk, she remembered feeling dizzy the first time the young cadet met her then-future training agent.

Feeling a sudden burn, she frowned. She couldn't let any other member of the team see the long, red lines running from her shoulder-blade to the small of her back. How could she explain THAT to them?

Picking up her rucksack, the blonde strutted towards the exit. Nothing could break the smile on her face.

As the elevator doors shut once more, a relieved sigh could be heard from a distant office. "Thank Aphrodite, they're gone!"

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_**A/N - Ok this is really short but I think its necessary as a transition thingy! Please review, more to come :)**_


	5. Chapter 5

**_CHAPTER 5_**

**_"A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway." Jerome Cummings_**

"Thank Aphrodite, they're gone!"

Computer screens flashed as various windows appeared. Garcia paced back and forth as she attempted to comprehend what she had just seen.

"Holy Amazons!" She cried, shaking her hands frantically as she walked. Little strands of blonde hair had gone astray and looked almost static standing on end. Beads of sweat ran down her brow.

The tech closed her eyes to convince herself that this was just a dream, but as soon as she did the image of Emily Prentiss 'down there' on the **very** young Ashley Seaver nearly bowled Garcia over.

"Hahaha!" She laughed nervously, still not believing what had happened.

Suddenly she sat down in front of her main computer screen. She remembered hearing Ashley's scream of pain and witnessing the dark agent run her nails down her cadet's back.

"Oh sweet Gabrielle. What has Emily done?" Butterflies swam in her stomach as she became worried about her friend. Putting on her headset, she turned to her beloved computer. Selecting contacts, she scrolled down until she reached the one name she knew could help the older woman.

But she paused, then decided against making that phone call. "It's too soon for both of them." She thought. After shutting down the computers, the blonde left the BAU wondering how she could face her friend and the younger woman tomorrow.

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_Again another short one sorry but Im in exam year here so uploads will be slow :) Hope its ok!_


	6. Chapter 6

_**CHAPTER 6**_

_**"Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be." John Wooden**_

"Hey Derek." Emily smiled at the dark man as she strode into the bullpen.

"Morning Princess!" He grinned, looking up from his neat desk, white teeth shining. "Sleep well last night?"

"Oh you wish!" She laughed. She set her coffee down on her desk, smirking as she remembered what else she laid on that same desk the night before. The tall agent sat down to start flicking through case files. Someone walked quickly past her.

"Hey Garcia." She greeted the computer tech.

"Oh, Em. Hi!" Turning, Garcia squirmed underneath an arm-full of files. She smiled broadly but nervously. She knew it looked fake… and creepy. Most definitely creepy.

"Do you want help with those?" Emily began to get up. She was eyeing the blonde curiously.

"NO! No, its ok! Thanks!" She spotted Ashley coming through the doors of the bullpen. "Young Seaver will help me!"

Ashley heard her name mentioned and walked briskly towards the two. Before she could speak, Garcia dumped the files onto her chest. "Lets go, Cadet!" Her words were firm, commanding.

"Uh…Ok then." Ashley glanced at Emily. The brunette smirked and waved at her, deliberately displaying her long fingers. The young blonde wasn't sure how she stayed standing. She turned on her heels and trotted after the techie.

Letting Ashley into the computer room, Garcia closed the door behind them.

"Just leave them on the floor by my chair, thanks." She muttered. The youngster did as instructed.

"Anything else?" She smiled.

"Stand there for a minute." The blonde pointed towards the middle of the room. When Ashley stood still, Garcia began to circle her. She walked behind her.

Suddenly she grabbed the end of Ashley's shirt and pulled it upwards to reveal the long scrawls down her back. The tech gasped and her hands covered her mouth.

"Hey!" The cadet shouted in surprise. She leaped away, pulling her shirt to cover herself.

"Oh my Xenaverse….what has Emily done to you?" She wasn't expecting to see such deep cuts.

"Nothing…she loves me." Ashley defended her mentor.

"Look sweetie. I was here last night. I heard everything. I chose not to watch because that would be way too weird but you have to listen to me. Emily Prentiss does not love you. Her heart is breaking because of somebody else's wrong-doings. If this continues, both of you will end up hurt. You both could be in a lot of trouble. I normally don't resort to blackmail but Emily is my friend. I can help her. I just need you to stop providing yourself to her. If she tries anything on with you again, you call me straight away. Promise me?" Garcia was pleading with her. She desperately wanted to get her runaway-train of a friend back onto the right tracks.

"Ok, I promise." The young agent felt her heart sink, but knew she couldn't win this. Keeping her head down, she turned to leave. "Please don't tell Agent Hotchner."

"I wont unless this happens again." Garcia sat down on her swivel chair. "And put some manuka honey on those cuts. Believe me, I know from experience!" She smiled warmly at Ashley. She didn't want to be cold or harsh with the youngster. She really did like her.

Ashley nodded her thanks and shut the wooden door after her. Garcia sighed. "Now its war-time." She said aloud. She picked up her Blackberry and began writing a text message.

"My office. U only. V important. NOW." She clicked send and waited in dread for what would come next.

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_A/N: Im debating whether to include a mention of self-harm RE: Emily. Let me know what you think. Thanks!_


	7. Chapter 7

_**CHAPTER 7**_

_**"You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it." Henry Youngman**_

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She clicked send and waited in dread for what would come next.

…

Emily burst through the large door of Garcia's office.

"What's wrong?" She furrowed her brow.

Garcia kept her eyes to the floor while walking over to close the door. "I want you to stop this." She dragged her eyes slowly up to meet her friend's.

"Stop what, Garcia?"

"What you're doing with Seaver. She's very young and impressionable and you'll get into trouble and…especially with this icky sadist element as-well Em." Garcia couldn't breathe; little bouncy butterflies had started dancing around in her stomach. Since when had she become afraid of her friend?

The taller agent squared her jaw and straightened her back. The tech saw anger flash in her big brown eyes. Anger and hurt. She knew this girl's heart was still breaking.

"What I do in my private life is none of your business." She spoke firmly, but was eerily calm.

"Yes it is. I'm your friend Emily. I know you're hurt but don't let this hurt that young girl as well." Garcia pleaded, indicating out the window at Ashley, who was studying a small, yellow file in the bullpen.

Emily glared at the blonde. She turned swiftly to leave. Stopping just before opening the door, she spat angrily; "She broke my heart, Garcia. She LEFT me. I'm forgetting her, and I will do that in my way." The door slammed and the blonde was left reeling from the impact of both the door and Emily's tone. She understood now. She stood still for a moment, feeling butterfly breeding season begin within her abdomen.

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_Thanks for your patience :) Im in the middle of doing mock exams but I'll try put some more up over the weekend! _


	8. Chapter 8

_**CHAPTER 8**_

_**"Better to inflict pain on myself than to let other people do it." Tracy Thompson**_

"Everybody go home and get some rest. We'll re-group in the morning for a briefing." Aaron Hotchner strode out of his office and into the bullpen. The team looked up at him with weary eyes, each desk piled with a backlog of cases that had yet to be looked at. Their last case had been a long, horrifying one. A paediatric nurse had kidnapped, maimed and murdered 20 babies over six months, dumping the bodies in various areas across Arizona. Looking around the bullpen, he knew that not even reserved Emily could compartmentalise that case. Dark rings were visible around her large brown eyes, and her face seemed sunken.

The team grumbled their replies. Morgan stood up slowly, picking up his backpack in the same movement. "Goodnight guys." He forced a smile and walked towards the elevator, rubbing his eyes on the way. Garcia met him in the hallway. He draped a muscular arm around her shoulder.

"Yeah I think we all need some sleep. Reid, you need a lift?" Rossi grabbed the keys to his jeep.

"That would be great Rossi, thanks." Reid reached for his leather shoulder bag.

Hotch noticed that Emily hadn't even looked up from the file she was staring intently at. "Prentiss, you need rest too." He glanced at the desk across from her. "And you, Seaver."

"Sir, I have an Academy exam in a few days, I just have a little study to do tonight and I'll leave then." The blonde looked pleadingly at her boss.

"I'll be done in a minute." Emily mumbled.

"Ok fine, but don't be too late. Strauss wants a full report on the last case by tomorrow night. I'll need the two of you alert and ready." He locked his office and said his goodbyes. Seaver and Emily were left alone.

They both continued their work. The cadet studied teenage rebellious behaviour, her mentor sorted through a potential case for the BAU. She sighed. Choosing what case to solve next was tougher than it looked. Choosing who's life to save was tougher than it looked. A thought flashed through her mind; "How did Jen do it…" She immediately shut it out. Slamming the case file shut, she stood up abruptly.

Ashley jumped as she felt hot breath on her neck, and a firm hand on her shoulder prompted her to turn around in the swivel chair. As she stared into Emily's eyes, she saw the same pain and anger that was rarely exposed to the outside world. The tall agent brushed her thumb over Ashley's lips, then leaned in. But instead of kissing her mouth, Emily began to place wet kisses down the young woman's neck. She nipped her pulse point.

"Wait, Emily…I have to go to the bathroom!" She started pushing Emily off her, but the more experienced woman was a lot stronger and simply held Ashley's wrists down by her side, keeping her mouth focused on the girl's neck.

"Emily! Get off, now! Please!" The cadet shoved with her shoulder and Prentiss, angered, walked back to her desk. Ashley ran to the toilets.

She held onto the sink. She didn't know how to feel. Angry? Scared? Sick? She knew that this couldn't end well in the long run, but she was enjoying the attention Emily was giving her. Last week they had gone to see a movie, but ended up making out on the back row seats. Ashley smiled to herself.

"All done?" Emily was leaning against the open door to the bathroom. She walked confidently towards Seaver, closing in until the girl was pinned between her and the sink. She placed an elegant hand on the cadet's defined hip, and another just behind her head. She pulled the blonde in, driving her tongue into her.

Ashley arched her back when Emily began to grind her hips against the young woman's. No matter how scared she was, her seductive mentor still turned her on. The dark haired agent moved her right hand down the blonde's toned body, and slipped it behind her jeans and black underwear, feeling warm moistness around her folds.

"Oh God." Ashley's eyes fluttered closed. As Emily placed three fingers inside, she felt as if a bolt of electricity had gone through her. All she wanted is for this woman to make her scream, and she knew the brunette could. Hooking her two arms around Emily's shoulders, she pushed herself up to sit on the edge of the wash basin. She held on tight to her mentor as the woman gathered pace, moaning as she felt those long fingers thrust in and out of her less-experienced pussy.

"Oh yes Emily! Fuck me!" She cried. Ashley could feel herself getting closer. Emily buried her head in the girl's clothed bosom. Curling her hand as she felt the blondes vagina contract, Ashley threw her head back.

"Yeeesss! Oh shit Emily!" She thought she'd black out from the powerful orgasm that ripped through her. She panted. Emily pulled out of her and Ashley glanced at her superior with lust-heavy eyes. She marvelled the brunettes beauty as she watched her button up her short-sleeved shirt.

"Shit, Emily, what happened to your arms?" She jumped down off the sink to inspect the long, red lines across Prentiss' forearm.

"Its nothing, leave it alone." The taller woman snatched her arm away and walked briskly out of the bathrooms.

Ashley stood in shock for a moment, trying to comprehend what was happening. She heard the glass doors of the bullpen shut, and walked out to find that Emily had gone. Picking up her bag from her desk, she grabbed her cell. She dialled a number as she walked.

"Hey, Garcia? Its Ashley. Can I meet you somewhere? I need to talk to someone…"

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_Sorry it's taken so long; blame mock exams! Chapter 9 will be up soon I hope :)_


	9. Author's Note

_**AUTHORS NOTE**_

_Hey readers, just a quick note. Thank you so much for reading this fanfic.. I really hope you all are enjoying it so far :) If you have any suggestions feel free to review/PM me; I won't bite! Chapter 9 will be up by the weekend hopefully, I'm sorry it's taking a bit longer than planned but school duty calls! Well, that's all for now! Thanks again ;) _

_knightraider08 (a.k.a Amy) _


	10. Chapter 9

_**CHAPTER 9**_

_A/N: Thanks for being patient. I know this is short but I will update soon :) I hope you're enjoying it so far. There is self-harm in this scene, just fyi. _

_"**Depression is nourished by a lifetime of ungrieved and unforgiven hurt." Penelope Sweet**_

Emily hugged her knees to her muscular chest, her back resting on her tiled bathroom wall. She couldn't close her eyes; for every time she dared to, she'd hear that same voice torturing her, prolonging the pain. As she held her head in her hands, she coughed and sighed. The dark woman didn't cry. Her stomach turned. She felt as if her entire insides were rotting.

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"_I don't have a choice, my love. I must go. I'm so sorry."_

"_Stay, please. Don't leave me, don't give up...please…I love you." The brunette pleaded in vain. They both knew arguing was futile. _

"_Goodbye, Em. Please remember that I love you too."_

"_Don't come back," Emily spat. "I'm changing the locks!" She yelled as the door slammed. She knew what she had said was pathetic. She slumped to her knees in the middle of the hallway…_

_

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_Emily grinded her teeth angrily. Letting out an exasperated scream, she leaped to her feet and lunged for the glass cabinet above the ceramic sink in front of her. Finding what she was looking for, she resumed her former position on the floor, cradling the small razor in the palm of her calloused hands.

"I hate you!" She stretched her bare legs out, her shorts not bothering to hide the little red marks on the top of her thighs. Inhaling sharply, she cut slowly yet deeply. She wanted a different kind of pain to the one burning in her chest. After fulfilling her need, she let her head roll back to rest against the wall.

...

"Jesus Christ…Emily! Emily wake up please!"

The tall agent opened her eyes to discover two hands caressing her face. Her vision focusing, she looked up at the intruder.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"


	11. Chapter 10

_A/N: Here y'are :) Hope you like it. __**CHAPTER 10**_

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"_**The only antidote to mental suffering is physical pain." Karl Marx**_

The white of Emily's eyes shone in stark contrast to her dark hair. She glared at the woman kneeling next to her. Blood was trickling down the sides of her toned thighs and elegant forearm.

"Get out, Jareau." The brunette's voice was weak but commanded obedience.

"Oh Emily, what have you done?" Jennifer Jareau reached out and gently examined her former colleague's arm. Her mind raced and her stomach turned as she forced herself to look at the deep cuts. "We have to get you to a hospital. Let me put a bandage on these and I'll help you into my car." The blonde tried to hold back tears that were threatening to wash Emily's body clean. She watched as the dark woman rolled her head back to rest on the wall, her eyes half open.

"Leave me alone." Emily mumbled bitterly. JJ stood up and pulled a small first aid bag out of the glass cabinet above the sink. Once more she knelt down, this time facing the brunette. She poured some saline solution onto cotton wool and began to clean the wounds on her thighs.

"Please stay awake Emily." Her blue eyes searched in vain for some signs of hope in the other woman's chocolate orbs. It scared her to think that this was the first time she saw Emily give up. It also scared her to think that it was her fault.

"Why did you do this, Em?" JJ started wrapping dressing around Emily's thigh, its colour almost blending into the taller woman's pale skin.

At this question, Emily's eyes shot open. She pushed JJ's hands away from her leg and painfully began to stand.

"Why did I do this? Why? Are you blind, Jareau? Why do you think I did this?" Emily grit her teeth, and the petite blonde couldn't deduce if it was out of anger or pain. Probably both, she thought. "YOU left me. I loved you, and you left. Yet you ask me why I want to try and escape the way you made me feel? Should have taken the profiling course, Jareau!"

Jj was completely taken aback by her former lover's tone. Even though she had prepared herself to face a fight before she walked through the door to Emily's condo, it was the way the brunette said "Jareau" that startled her. It was full of malice, full of bitterness. Hatred. The former FBI Media Liaison stood speechless as the older woman released her emotions.

"Then again, you never really thought about me, did you Jareau? You only ever thought about your own ambition…I was just something on the side. Well I'm not having it." Emily was pacing, blood streaming slowly down her legs and arms. "Get out of my house!" She screamed, making a lunge for the bloodied razor that had lay forgotten on the tiled floor.

"Emily stop please!" Jj attempted to grab Emily's arm but her reflexes were much slower than what they used to be on the field. Only this wasn't the field.

Emily stood upright with stoic determination. "Get out. Get out of my life," She repeated, then heavily slid the blade across her wrist.

The blade fell to the floor. As blood poured out of the open wound, the brunette felt her eyelids go heavy after a few seconds, then slumped to the floor. The last thing she heard was the screams from the woman she loved so dearly, but wanted to forget.


	12. Chapter 11

_**CHAPTER 11**_

"_**Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man" Friedrich Nietzsche**_

The hum of complex machines feeding Emily various medicines convinced JJ to rest her head on her crossed arms just above the brunette's hip. The crisp whiteness of the sheet covering the woman lying next to her reminded JJ of Emily's fearful eyes the moment she walked into that bloody bathroom last night. The moment the blonde knew she still loved her dark companion. She stroked Emily's hand with her thumb, noting how thin she had become. One niggling statement buzzed in her head like a swarm of angry bees: "This is my fault." JJ knew it was true.

"I'm so sorry, Emily." She whispered, a small tear crawled down her slender cheek. She shuddered at the sight of dressing wrapped around the brunette's wrists.

"Knock knock," The ever-colourful Garcia appeared in the open doorway. "How's she doing?"

"She hasn't woken up yet because of the meds. I swear that every time she makes a slight movement I think her eyes will open…but no." Jennifer sighed.

"Jage, you look tired. You've been here all night. How about we go and grab a coffee in the little pink café across the street?" The techie forced a smile to try and comfort her friend, despite the queasy 'I-hate-hospitals' feeling in her stomach. Emily's stark pale skin did nothing to ease it either.

The smaller woman shook her head. "Thanks Pen, but I'm not leaving her again. Not like this." She indicated towards Emily.

Garcia nodded her understanding. "I'll bring you back a coffee then." She left her little blonde friend alone with the brunette they were both so fond of.

JJ resumed her position on the bed next to Emily. She lay perfectly still for what felt like an hour, but was really only twenty minutes. She was beginning to feel restless. Why hadn't she woken up yet?

"Em…please wake up. I love you. You probably hate me for what I did but I never stopped loving you…I need you to wake up." She sobbed into the brunette's chest. Even with Emily lying unconscious, JJ still felt some safety lying next to her.

Suddenly, she heard a groan escape from the older woman's lips. Dark eyelashes started to flutter open.

"Oh my God, Emily?"

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_Ok, I know that quote has been used before on CM, but I felt it was appropriate. :)_ _Again, R&R as you please ;)_


	13. Author's Note 2

_**Authors Note:**_

_Hi all, thank you so much for your support! It's really appreciated! :) For all who are wondering; I will be continuing this FanFic. I've had a crazy last few months so didn't have the chance to update but if you can just bear with me for one more day to let me get my grounding on the plot once more! _

_New chapter up soon, I promise 3 _

_Thank you _


	14. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 12**_

"_There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love."_

Garcia smiled as she watched her blonde friend take the pale hand of the damaged Emily Prentiss. She could make out, past the half-open blinds, the brunette's form laying peacefully under the white sheets. Emily's gaze was fixed upon JJ, who towered above her in the low-sized bed. On a normal day, Emily would be the one towering.

"She only ever had eyes for her," Garcia thought silently. Her smile broadened when JJ leaned down and pressed her full lips to Emily's, her left hand stroking brunette hair. Was this reconciliation?

The tech scrambled to the row of chairs in the hallway, balancing two coffee cups in one hand.

"Were you spying, Pen?" whispered JJ as she eased the door to Emily's room shut.

"Why do all the lesbians think I'm a peeping Tom? You and Em, Em and Seaver, the two girls I caught in a bathroom last summer…" She spread out her hands, counting, on her fingers, each time she had been caught.

"OK! That's enough! I don't think I want to hear anymore!" Jennifer stuck out her tongue. "Gimme that mocha, I'm starving." She squealed when her bubbly friend produced two chocolate muffins from her bag.

"So, you two reach an agreement or -"

JJ frowned. She loved Emily. She always has. Ever since she first met the mysterious, intimidating yet selfless and courageous woman. They had been so happy together. "I was a fool to just let them promote me like that. I should've stayed. I knew she was fragile, this is all my -"

"This," Garcia pointed towards Prentiss' room, "is not your fault. You both made some bad decisions but I'm sure you can figure out the answers."

Jennifer sipped her smooth drink. "I'm coming back. Getting around Strauss is going to take a while, but I can't do this to her again. I love her too much for that." There would be more issues than that, though. What about Seaver? They would have to face her at some point. She has to be informed of past wrongs so she can understand why Emily did what she did. "She apologised to me, you know, for her behaviour with the cadet. She didn't say why she did it, but I'm sure that'll come in due time."

Garcia just nodded. She knew they were on shaky ground; for the moment at least. There was a still silence between the two women for a few, long moments.

"Hey Pen?"

"Yeah, Jay?" "Do you think she can ever forgive me - ever _love_ me, again?"

"She never stopped loving you, sweetheart, not for one minute."


	15. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

A/N: I want to thank everyone for reading this fanfic. I've been having some trouble with the story lately. The problem; I didnt plan. We were always taught to plan our stories before we write them, and I made the fatal mistake. Hence, the delayed uploads, characters being out of character etc etc. This story is nearly complete. One more chapter, I would think. I'll be writing one-shots for a while then, to give my head a break! I hope you've enjoyed this so far! x

"_All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." - Havelock Ellis_

_**1 month later….**_

Emily tried in vain to slow her pulse. Gnawing at her fingernails, she stood in front of the mahogany door that led to the condo.

"Breathe, Emily, breathe." She muttered to herself. "Why am I waiting?" She'd forgotten how long she had been standing there for. Not doing anything, just, waiting. She reached outwards and knocked slowly. There came no response. She tried again, this time a little harder. Once more, there was no reply.

She hesitantly turned and walked dejectedly down the narrow hallway.

"Emily?" The agent's heart skipped a beat.

"Yeah, it's me." She turned to face Ashley. "I would like to talk to you, if you'd let me?"

"Sure thing. Come in, please." Emily, ever the profiler, didn't fail to notice the cadet hesitate slightly. It pained her to think she had caused this mistrust.

It was a beautiful apartment. Spacious. The kitchen and living area only separated by an elegant grey marble island.

"You can sit down." Ashley indicated towards a tall white stool next to the island. Emily did as instructed, unwilling to agitate her cadet. She inhaled deep before speaking.

"Ashley, I…I wanted to apologise. I should never have treated you the way I did. It was selfish. Although I can explain, nothing will ever excuse what I did to you." Her hands shook as she spoke.

"Shhsh. It's okay. I know you're sorry. But I have to say, it takes two to tango. I'm just as guilty in all of this. I'm sorry that I didn't help you sooner." She smiled at her mentor, reaching out to stroke one of her scarred forearms. "How have you been recently? I haven't seen you in a month."

"I have been getting help - seeing a counsellor. But it's not just about the cutting; it's about a girl too." Emily couldn't look Seaver in the eye. She really did not want to hurt this girl anymore than she already had.

"I know, Em. It's Jj. It's always been Jj. Do you still love her?" The cadet smiled warmly.

"How did you know? And yeah, I still love her. I never stopped."

"I knew from the first time I mentioned her name to you. You flew off the handle, I figured she must be significant. I never met her until I came in to see you at the hospital. She's very beautiful, and she cares for you too. Are you two together now?

"She gave me some space to sort things out, but she's been around because she's coming back to the BAU. We actually have a date tonight. Call it a reconciliation, or an apology." More shaking, more nerves.

"Wow, this is some night for you. All that seeking forgiveness?"

"I am really sorry, Ashley." Emily fiddled with her hands.

"I know, Em. It's okay. Just look after yourself. You're strong enough to move on, and Jj loves you enough to forgive you."

The blonde wrapped Emily in a warm embrace. She really had forgiven her mentor. She understood everything. That didn't mean it hadn't hurt at the time, but now she could move on.

As Emily closed the condo's door behind her, she realised how close Jj's forgiveness and her life moving on were.

She had better now screw it up again.


	16. Chapter 14

**A/N:** Well...first off I must apologise for the massive gap between this chapter and the last! The whole idea just went cold in my head and I had to abandon it. There will be one more chapter to finish it all off and I'll probably write some Rizzoli and Isles fic for a while then. I know this chapter is short but believe me the next chapter will be worth it!

"_**How few there are who have courage enough to own their faults, or resolution enough to mend them." – Benjamin Franklin. **_

Jennifer Jareau sat playing with a crisp, white napkin in the lavish restaurant, _Amore Costiera. _She checked her watch. 7:56pm. Emily Prentiss was due to appear in a few minutes. JJ drew in a shaky breath. How would tonight play out? Would Emily even turn up? Even if she did, could they really forgive and forget past wrong-doings? JJ wasn't sure. The only thing she was certain of was the way her heart thumped against her chest at the thought of Emily. She had tried so hard to forget the dark profiler so she could have a new start at the Pentagon but she had failed miserably. No matter how intensely she tried, she could not keep the brunette out of her mind. Out of her life.

As thoughts of how confusing and frightening the last few months had been started creeping into her mind, JJ felt a presence behind her. She looked up and her eyes locked with large brown ones. Emily gave a shy smile and wordlessly sat down in the chair opposite Jennifer.

"Hi," was all she could manage.

"Hi," the blonde whispered.


End file.
